Being a mom is not easy. That goes without saying. Being a new mom is particularly difficult as there is no frame of reference or experience to draw upon. Every little thing seems so difficult and it's just plain exhausting. Doubts creep in and guilt can sweep over new moms. I came across an article over at Mom Junction that offers a simple formula for new moms to keep in mind.
Although family counselor and mom of three Diana Eidelman was a confident woman outside, her confidence disappeared at home. In her TEDTalk, she shared “The confident women I used to be dissipated and disappeared, and I couldn’t recognize myself.” At one point, she felt that a baby’s cry was similar to an ambulances siren. She also felt that she wasn’t doing a good job and other moms were better than her.
Yes, while motherhood is exhausting, if a new mom understands and accepts the changes in her new life they will find relief. Eidelman created the acronym G.I.F.T. which when applied can change the perspective of a new mom:
G.I.F.T Go. Inhale. Feed. Touch.
Eidelman explained that moving around, dancing and playing with the new baby releases endorphins. The release of endorphins in the body makes you happier. This will result in a happy new mom.
Anything that helps to change the mood is a big win. In particular, this is a way to find joy in the everyday moments.
(and exhale). Don’t panic when you hear your baby crying. The first thing to do is take a breath and calm down. A calm mom will encourage a calm baby. This will help soothe the baby as well.
If only it was this easy to be calm. However, the advice is spot on.
Not only the baby, but you need to eat healthy as well. Babies will require you to feed them several times in a day and you need to have the energy to do so.
It's easy to forget this one when you are so busy caring for the little one. However, it's critical to nourish our bodies so we can truly nourish our babies.
Touch plays a large part in psychological wellbeing among babies. When you touch your baby, the levels of oxytocin rise and they will feel more loved. This love will also be reciprocated making you feel happier. It should also be understood that babies learn through touch and this way, they will learn how to love and understand their environment.
Similar to the first point, this one is simple and easy. It should also e a source of genuine joy in the day that may be rather difficult at times.
And that’s not all. Eidelman decided to speak to other new moms and use her personal experience to find a way to help new moms and families. Her observations enabled her to understand how the dynamics of everyday life changes after birth and how a new mum can adjust to the new “normal.”
1. You Can Never Really Prepare For Child Care
Most new moms “study” baby care before giving birth in order to be “prepared.” The truth is, no matter how many articles, books and research you read, NOTHING prepares you for the reality of the situation. Each baby is different and techniques have different effects on each baby. What may work on your first born won’t necessarily work with your second or third. When it comes to parenting, experience goes a long way.
Isn't this the truth? There really is no way to fully prepare. However, we can still strive to make the most of this time of life even though it can feel overwhelming and tiring.
You can read the full post by clicking on the link below.
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Photo By Lisa | Redfern Photography
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