Start Slowly With Step Parenting » Parent Plaza

Step parenting can be required due to a trauma in the family such as a death or a divorce. Re-marrying and subsequent step parenting require the same skills, dedication, focus and luck that is necessary in good parenting under ideal conditions. In step parenting there is a little more to consider. Let's call these considerations steps – steps toward parenting or step parenting - sort of fits doesn't it?

Step One

Love is the foundation of everything. It's not enough that the roles of moms and dads are in flux in the typical step parenting scenario and it takes time to re-establish those roles, especially where step-children are concerned. Other unconscious and subconscious issues hide beneath the surface and these can sabotage the early parenting efforts of step-moms and step-dads alike. These include the effects of violent relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, death of a spouse or parent or incarceration – these are all factors that contribute to the challenges of parenting.

Baby Steps

Luckily, we do not need to start with huge strides, we can begin with baby steps. The adage “Start where you're at!" gives hope. (The grammar might be off but the heart resonates with encouragement to this simplicity.)

A human being's very basic needs consist of oxygen for life, food for nourishment, clothing and shelter for protection, and friends for companionship and love. You see, half the work is already done and that with just being willing to make a start!

Not Quite Running Marathons Yet

On top of that follow many moons of longsuffering and gritty determination sprinkled with ample servings of forgiveness and courage. Now you've got a fighting chance to at least make a positive impression on a young mind already struggling – trying to sort out the meaning of separated parents.

Step-parents need to realize that love attracts. The results you seek in you step parenting efforts may show themselves in strange ways at first. Step-kids can and will challenge, deceive, act distant – even curse at you – but they are also observing you and looking for the love. Patience, determined effort, forgiveness and courage are called for because it can take a lifetime to master these traits.

Conclusion

Deciding to do step parenting embarks you on a voyage that is challenging, a little scary, and wildly exciting at the same time. You may never have imagined yourself as a step-parent or dreamed that you children could be living with one, but life is full of surprises. The experience will surely move you forward in a big way if you are receptive to the signs along the way. Step lightly and have a pleasant journey!

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