Single Teenage Parenting Means Growing Up With Them » Parent Plaza

My intention here is not to cast judgment of provide a ream of ready made solutions. Rather it is about taking an honest look at a growing cultural phenomenon in Western life – teen pregnancy and single teenage parenting.

Life used to be as simple as the children growing up, leaving home, getting married and having a family of their own. But I suspect that was never really the way it happened. A hundred and fifty years ago two young kids might be married at the dock at sunrise, climb into a wagon and press off completely unknowing, up against a western land waiting to be tamed. It sounds romantic but the harsh cruelties of the time tell a different story. Life spans of 30 years were common and teen pregnancies were more common – single teenage parenting was a matter of survival.

In our world of today, children often set out from the comfort of home without a partner, without a "wagon" and sometimes without a specific destination in mind. Fortunately for them, theirs is a round-trip ticket and many young people find themselves returning to live at home once or twice before making the successful leap into an independent life. Heck, as parents we sometimes wish we had that option.

These kids are the fortunate ones.

Living With Two Babies

One cannot think about single teenage parenting without thinking about the makeup of the family. For many young people, reproductive biology or anatomy is real-time discovery and the family consequences are almost always dramatic – probably, when put in perspective, as dramatic as the nineteenth century wagon train bride mentioned above.

Let us consider single teenage parenting and the enormous effect it has on the family of the teenage mother. If there is a mom and dad, are they around? It’s great if they are and supportive enough to embrace the situation. Not always the case however due to divorce, drugs, alcohol abuse, etc. and there’s no need to expand the list to see how grandparents might get drawn into the picture.

In this situation, older family members have to forget about a quiet retirement because they are faced with 20 years of raising a child. Hopes for school, career and dreams of travel are all still there, but now with baby in tow.

Brave Young World

You can expect some strife and challenges if the teenager is going to do the parenting herself. How do you teach growing up? When do you start teaching teens about parenting? Experience is often painful but arguably the best teacher. Teenagers are inquisitive and tend to explore, so we better make sure that along with reproductive biology and anatomy, our teens are also getting parenting training.

It was probably predictable that so many teenagers would become parents. Seems we need parenting for the teens before the teens need parenting training!

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